My Space and My Space Only!

I'm Getting Married...

2009-07-24T07:51:00.002-05:00

and am now an emotional basket case. I never once considered that getting engaged and planning a wedding would bring up so many emotions in me. I told one friend that I'm now making decisions on the wedding based on whether they make me cry or not. For instance, if a song makes me cry it must be in the wedding.

I suppose it is understandable to have such a wide range of emotions. I have spent the last 34 years under my parents' wings. I haven't lived with them since I was 17, but I have spent every birthday and Christmas and major event in our lives with them. Now along comes this man with his own family that has its own way of doing things. The thought of meshing our two lives together is incredibly exciting and makes me happy. But at the same time it is also very scary and a bit sad to consider the compromises each of us will have to make.

Also, the thought of having a boy in the house all the time is a bit overwhelming! I have lived mostly alone (with the exception of a roommate here and there) for half my life. Now I have to share my space with a boy. He is going to want a portion of my closet, the toilet seat up and full control of my remote control. Basically life is not going to be all about me anymore. I guess that could be a good thing. :-)

So there is a glimpse of some of the crazy emotions I am being overcome with on a daily basis. I am almost always happy and in a state of disbelief that Javier finally asked me to marry him and that day is coming soon! Yet, when I'm not looking these other emotions sneak up on me...fear, selfishness, sadness. I'm going to assume that these are normal for any bride.

Still Here!

2009-07-24T07:50:00.003-05:00

My blog is still here!!! It never gave up on me even though I forgot it existed. ;-) This is now attempt number 4,239,234,897,923,777 at trying to blog more consistently.

Sorry

2009-02-09T16:55:00.002-06:00

I realized recently that there are a few more people reading my blog (when I update it) than I thought. So, this is my initial effort to blog more. The biggest hurdle I have to blogging is that the friends I am living with still live in the stone ages. No phone, no cable, no internet. I must rely on my work computer and random free wifi connections. Therefore, I cannot make any firm commitments to blogging twice a day or anything like that. However, I am going to make an effort to blog a bit more. :-)

Training Purgatory

2009-01-19T20:16:00.002-06:00

That is where I currently am...in training in Norman, OK. There is a slight possibility that the union of the company I work for may strike. So to prepare for that all management employees have been assigned a "strike assignment". If there is a strike I will have the privilege of becoming a collections agent. I won't complain about that though because some people in our department have jobs where they have to learn to climb telephone poles. Thank you Jesus for not putting me in that position!

So here I am in Oklahoma. We (one of my co-workers and I) checked into our hotel last night and I promptly discovered that my toilet wouldn't flush, which meant I had to re-pack my belongings and change rooms. Other than that the hotel is very nice. I have a huge king size bed, cable tv, free internet access and a very good complimentary breakfast. Better than home. ;-)

The training is quite frankly terrible. We spent a good portion of the day trying to work out kinks with the log ins we are supposed to use for the systems. The other portion of the day was spent taking turns reading the training manual out loud. What is especially annoying is that we have some hourly management people in the class so the trainer is extremely strict on the time. We spent the last 20 minutes of the day sitting around waiting for 5pm instead of being allowed to just go home.

I know I shouldn't complain. At least I have a job right? So I will try to make the best out of this.

Week One

2009-01-12T12:38:00.002-06:00

Week one went really well. I focused on cutting processed foods out of my diet. I was very successful with that. Although now I am eating a Healthy Choice frozen meal for lunch, but that was the quickest thing to throw together since I was running late this morning. Needless to say, cutting out processed foods makes food preparation a lot longer.

I did lose 1.8 pounds this week. Respectable considering that as of Friday I had not lost any weight. This week I am focusing on adding more exercise. We'll see how that goes.

Victorious

2009-01-09T15:58:00.001-06:00

It is the end of the day and I did not listen to the singing candy bars from the break room. Score one for Amy. :-) If you are confused please read my previous post.

Why so hungry?

2009-01-09T13:06:00.003-06:00

I've been debating whether I should post about this subject or not. Primarily because if I fail I don't want people to know. But, since my counter shows not a lot of people read this then why not!

The household I am living in started a 90 day weight loss challenge on January 4. My goal is to lose 30 pounds in 90 days. A bit aggressive, but doable in my opinion. I started this week insanely optimistic. I went to the grocery store for all of the healthy foods and little containers to take all of that food to work with me. One thing I am trying to accomplish is getting over my sugar addiction. I am an absolute sugar addict! If it has sugar in it I will eat it.

How have I done? Fabulous! I have not eaten one unhealthy thing this week. I am drinking a lot more water and I have managed to squeeze in 2 workouts so far. I have had NO sugar. Major accomplishment for me.

This morning I decided to weigh a couple of days early. The results? I have not lost a single pound. Not even a tenth of a pound. I weigh EXACTLY the same as I weighed on Sunday. My first reaction was to find the nearest box of chocolate. Fortunately there is no chocolate in the house right now. I have not given in to that initial reaction yet and continue to stay on track. However, the chocolate bars from the vending machine are currently singing out for me to eat them every time I pass the break room. I don't quite understand how I haven't lost any weight, but I am going to keep at it and not lose my resolve.

So Sad

2009-01-07T21:38:00.002-06:00

I just returned from an 11 day trip to Missouri to spend Christmas with my family. I planned to have lots of pictures to show off on this blog upon my return. Sadly, with only two days left in my vacation I accidentally deleted every single picture from my digital camera. Christmas 2008? Gone. Christmas with my Texas family? Gone. Pictures from a ministry outreach? Gone. Pictures from the church family Christmas? Gone. I was in shock for quite some time. Now I'm just sad that I cannot share any of these pictures with the approximately three people that read my blog.

Despite the Digital Camera Crisis of '08, Christmas with the family was fabulous. Lots of people, lots of gifts and lots of food. Speaking of food...I'm hungry. I may post about why soon.

The Year of More

2008-12-18T22:16:00.004-06:00

I guess the fact that yet another year has almost entirely slipped through my fingers is making me a bit contemplative. I suppose many people begin evaluating their lives during this time. I look back on this year and I see many things I wish I could erase. Instances of embarrassment, heartbreak, anger and depression would be the first to go.

However, this is one of the first years I can remember where I can look back and be mostly pleased. I had what I am labeling as a "The Year of More". I spent more time with God. I volunteered my time more. I traveled more. I talked to my friends more. I loved more. I let go of a bit more anger. I saw the world and people more like God sees them. I've learned to like the way God made me tick a bit more. I've laughed more. I've also learned that more isn't always better. I've let go of my own apartment and living space to rent a small bedroom from friends. And in doing so I think I have found more freedom.

What are my plans for next year? More of the same. Travel, love, laugh, talk, live, give, let go, embrace. What kind of year are you planning?

Texas Winter

2008-12-16T21:13:00.003-06:00

Yesterday in the grand city of Dallas the temperature fell below 32 degrees. It also rained/freezing rained/sleeted. Where I grew up in Missouri this really would not have been a problem. Life would have gone on more or less as normal. Sure you would wake up a bit earlier to de-ice the car before you drove away. And, you would go a bit slower to avoid sliding into ditches. But, you would continue to go on.

Not in Dallas. In Dallas everyone panics. There is a rush on the grocery store for items such as bread, peanut butter, canned soup and water. There is a rush at the gas station to fill up your tank as much as possible just in case the next gas supply is not able to make it through the ice. One place there is no rush? The interstate. We all shuffle along very slowly to our work destinations. With the exception of a few brave (can also be interpreted as stupid) souls that decide 70 miles per hour is an acceptable speed to drive on ice. Accidents abound...the sand trucks tip over...general chaos ensues.

Until the following day when the high temperature is 65 degrees. Ahhhhh, life in Dallas is never boring.

Bethlehem

2008-12-02T21:50:00.005-06:00

One of the highlights of Israel was visiting Bethlehem. It wasn't quite the peaceful village I have always imagined when reading the stories of Jesus birth in the Bible. As a matter of fact it was quite the tourist trap. From the moment we stepped off the bus we were assaulted by roaming street vendors. We managed to fight our way through them to finally reach the Church of the Nativity.

On a random side note I must mention that we did a lot of walking on this trip. Some of our group wore pedometers and there were days where we averaged 5 miles or more. The streets in most of the cities we visited were too narrow for a tour bus to navigate. So we did a lot of walking to the sites of interest. We also walked up a LOT of mountains. You see, this was an Historical Geography tour. The best way to see the geography of any land is to view it from the top of a mountain. I had no idea Israel was so mountainous.

Back to the Church of the Nativity. This church struck me as very odd. There were no seats in the main sanctuary. It was just a large open room.

We waded through the masses to get to a stairwell that would take us down to the grotto where Jesus is traditionally thought to have been born. The picture below shows as the priest said, "The exact spot where little baby Jesus came out of Mary". Not quite as I imagined it, but no trip to Israel would be complete for me without a visit to the birthplace of my Savior.

Hezekiah's Tunnel

2008-11-19T20:28:00.004-06:00

In approximately 701 B.C. King Hezekiah had a tunnel built that ensured a study supply of water into Jerusalem. This 1,750 foot tunnel was built while the city was under siege by the Assyrians. Basically, two teams started at different ends and amazingly met in the middle. On our first full day in Jerusalem we went through this tunnel. I was terrified the entire day thinking of trekking through this tunnel. Why? Because I suffer from claustrophobia. No one was going to force me to go through the tunnel, but I couldn't imagine missing out on this once in a lifetime opportunity. We approached the tunnel through Warren's shaft. We wound down and down. But at least there were metal stairs and the passages were very large. I began to think that this might not be so bad. But then I saw it. The entrance to the actual tunnel. A very small tunnel with water still flowing through it. It was too late to back out so I braced myself and went for it. The first few steps into the tunnel took us into water up to my hips. Ice cold spring water! It literally took my breath away and I began to hyperventilate. Then I began to pray. I knew I could not make it through this tunnel on my own. God was going to have to take me through it. The water suddenly became much shallower...just to our ankles. We trudged single file through the dark, tiny tunnel. We each had a flashlight or else we would not have been able to see. Not that we could have lost our way since the walls were pressing in on our shoulders and at times our heads. While it was an amazing experience (you can still see the chisel marks in the stone) I was so happy to be out of that tunnel. Here are a few pics for your enjoyment.

Preparing to enter the tunnel through Warren's Shaft

Anita and Kathy. Check out the water line on Anita's pants.

Paul ahead of me in the tunnel. This gives you a sense of the size of it.
Squeeeeeeeze through Paul!

Even Anita and I had to duck in the shortest areas of the tunnel.

Israel Revisited - June 10, 2007

2008-11-18T08:01:00.004-06:00

After approximately 18 hours in flight we arrived safely in Tel Aviv. Prior to deciding to go on this trip I never truly had a desire to go to Israel. However, seeing God's home for his people below me as we flew in to Tel Aviv brought tears to my eyes. Why didn't I want to visit this place sooner? As a Christian there is so much value and history in this land. If you have not yet made a trip to Israel I highly recommend it. It changed my entire perspective on my God and my Saviour, Jesus and it absolutely brought the Bible to life for me!

We immediately left the Tel Aviv airport and began our drive to Jerusalem. We stayed at the Gloria Hotel which is inside the old city walls. We were dropped off at one of the city gates and had to walk about a mile to our hotel. The tour bus was too large to navigate the small streets inside the walls. This was the first site we saw upon arriving.

As we went through that gate and began walking down the city streets I felt as if I was being transported back in time. Into ancient history. I could sense the age and history of the stones and buildings around me. And I could catch a glimpse of what Jesus saw when he walked the streets of Jerusalem.

We checked into our hotel and immediately had dinner and went to bed. Our travels exhausted us, but the thrill of what I would see in the next 14 days kept me awake most of the evening.

Israel Revisited - June 9, 2007

2008-11-18T07:45:00.005-06:00

In June 2007 I had the amazing opportunity to spend 16 days in Israel. I've never really blogged about it primarily because I wanted to upload pictures and it has taken me this long to finally get them all uploaded. So I thought I would take the time now to revisit my travels to Israel.

We left DFW airport for Tel Aviv on June 9, 2o007. My parents and some of my friends were very concerned about my safety during this trip and my sanity for even wanting to go. I was primarily concerned with packing everything I needed for a 16 day trip into carry on baggage. There was no way I was going to check baggage and risk losing half my clothes! It is amazing what you can do if you set your mind on it. I was able to pack 2 jeans, 2 khakis, 1 black pant, 6 tops, 2 pairs of shoes, an extra duffel bag for bringing souvenirs back, a clothes line (to dry my clothes on after stomping them like grapes in the bath tub...the best way to get your clothes clean without a washer), laundry detergent, toiletries, a Bible, my large digital camera with extra lenses and a lovely traveling hat.

Now if you know me very well this was an amazing feat! I do not pack light. I have been known to take a very, very large suitcase on weekend trips. I guess the fear of losing my things outweighed the fear of not having just the right pair of shoes to wear for a trip to Ben Yehuda street for ice cream.

New Home

2008-10-27T20:48:00.002-05:00

I survived the big move. It helped me to further realize that I really want to buy a house soon so I don't have to move again for a very long time! I'm living with a couple of friends of mine. It is a bit like learning to live in a college dorm again, but I really think I am going to enjoy it. I am sort of unpacked. By that I mean that my bed is set up, clothes hung in the closet and the boxes are arranged well enough that I have a walking path. I have a lot to do in the next few days, but it feels good to actually be here (at least for the next few months).

Downsizing

2008-10-06T20:06:00.004-05:00

Typically when the word downsizing is mentioned it causes extreme panic because of the implications it has in the work place. However, I am looking forward to a bit of downsizing.

I am moving in three weeks. I am moving from my rather spacious apartment to a bedroom. Yes, you read that right...a bedroom. As mentioned in my previous post my friends, Jenn and Louis, have agreed to let me rent one of their bedrooms so I can save more money to purchase a house next spring. Now I have to determine what must go with me and what can be placed in storage (or the trash). That is a bit intimidating to me because I have a lot of stuff. I hope it will be a liberating process though. I think everyone can benefit from living with a lot less stuff.

I'll keep you updated on how the "weeding out" process is working for me.

New Computer!

2008-10-03T22:08:00.002-05:00

I finally purchased a new laptop. It seems to be much faster than my old one so perhaps I will now be more diligent in updating this site. I'm not making any promises though.

The biggest thing going on in my life right now is that I am moving in three weeks. I was hoping to buy a house, but the two I put offers on didn't work out. So now the plan is to put the house hunt on hold for the next 6 months while saving as much money as possible for a down payment and closing costs. To facilitate in the saving part of the plan I am moving in with some very dear friends of mine for minimal cost. They so graciously opened their home to me. You know who you are...so THANK YOU!! It will be an interesting change, but has the potential to be very refreshing and fun.

If anyone is bored to death during the next three weeks feel free to stop by to help pack. ;-)

Bad Blogger

2008-08-27T12:46:00.003-05:00

Obviously I am not great at updating this thing. I hope no one is out there wondering what happened to Amy! Reasons I am not good at updating: 1) My Internet at home decided to suddenly slow down for unknown reasons, 2) when I am home updating isn't typically at the top of my priority list, 3) when I'm at work I'm working...for the most part, 4) posting from work isn't as much fun because I don't have any of my pictures to upload on my work laptop.

I have some ideas for this blog. I would like to reminisce about my trip to Israel last year and post lots of fun pictures. I also would like to post about my trip to Jefferson (which I promised to do). I'm leaving for another trip to Alaska this Friday so that should also prompt a post. I think what it boils down to is that I'm just lazy. :-)

Worrying Gets You No Where

2008-07-07T08:09:00.002-05:00

I survived. Not only did I survive...I had a great time! More details to come later...

All By Myself

2008-07-03T12:17:00.002-05:00

I am taking a vacation this weekend all by myself. Is this a big deal? For some people probably not. For me? YES! I'm scared! I'm afraid that I will feel like a huge loser because I wasn't able to find anyone to vacation with me. I'm afraid that I will feel like a loser while eating my meals alone. I'm afraid I will feel like a loser while touring things all by myself. I'm afraid I will be bored and lonely. Okay...we've got all the fears out of the way.

Why am I doing this? Because I have finally gotten tired of missing out on things I really want to do just because I cannot find anyone to join me. I do have friends, but the vast majority of them are married and/or have children. They aren't really at a point in their lives where they can sneak away for a weekend. I, on the other hand, have no responsibilities beyond what I put upon myself, so why not vacation when I can.

I'm going to Jefferson, Texas. I hear it is the bed and breakfast capital of Texas and is mostly haunted. I have wanted to go for the past couple of years to relax and unwind. Today is the day. I will be leaving the office shortly and traveling to my lovely B&B, The Hale House Inn (I hope it isn't haunted). Tonight I plan to go on a ghost walking tour (primarily to get a tour of the town, but perhaps I will see a ghoul or two) and then a haunted train ride. After that I plan to sit in a bubble bath in my antique claw foot bathtub for at least 1 hour.

Tomorrow I hope to go antique shopping, tour the historical museum and (the highlight for me!) tour the Gone With the Wind museum. My absolute favorite book and movie ever. Am I excited?!! Heck Yes! In the evening the town has a 4th of July celebration consisting of kid's games, a patriotic band, pie and cake auction, fireworks and the Quacker State 500. What is the Quacker State 500 you ask? You buy a rubber ducky for $5. They float them down the river and the winner gets $500. I will post pictures upon my return.

I hope it will be a nice trip. My primary goal is to relax, spend time with God and hopefully gain some clarity on my life. Pretty lofty goal.

Is 1 out of 3 that bad???

2008-05-28T08:38:00.003-05:00

I cleaned. Actually I only cleaned 3 of my 5 rooms so I didn't even fully accomplish my cleaning goals. I've never been an overachiever. :-) I did upload about 2 days worth of pictures. I forgot that it takes forever and got side tracked by more interesting things like breakfast, swimming and shopping. Oh well...there is always Labor Day weekend!

Four Day Weekends Rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-05-22T16:10:00.002-05:00

In approximately 45 minutes I will leave work and embark upon a four day weekend! I must say that I am looking forward to this extended weekend much more than I thought I would. I would love to become a sloth and practice grafting to my couch for the next four days. However, I thought it might be a more meaningful weekend if I actually try to accomplish a few things. Below is my list (in no particular order). If you see me after the weekend please ask me if I really did these things. Apparently I only work well with a strong amount of accountability threatening me. :-)

1) Clean my house - It has become cluttered and to be honest with you my bathroom scares me right now. It is way past time for spring cleaning.

2) Upload all of my Israel and Alaska pictures to Kodak Gallery and share them with you - I had a goal of having all of my Israel pictures uploaded prior to the one year anniversary of my trip. I left around June 9 last year which is rapidly approaching. I need to get busy!

3) Transfer my pictures from my laptop to CDs - This is practical because my laptop could fizzle out one of these days and then I would lose all of my pictures. Also I think having all of my various pics on my laptop is really slowing it down.

I Should Stop Reading The News

2008-05-21T15:50:00.002-05:00

I cannot tell you the last time I read an actual newspaper; however, I am a faithful online news hound. MSNBC, CNN, BBC, Dallas Morning News...I read all of them online several times a day.

With the headlines these days though I'm considering burying my head in the sand. EVERY time I log on the cost of a barrel of oil has gone up, there has been a new oil pipeline explosion, more children have died of starvation because of rising food prices, we are in a depression or maybe it is just a recession, the leader of Iran has released more ridiculous statements and Hillary and Obama just will not shut up!

It is tiring. And it can cause brief moments of absolute panic for me. My mind begins racing...what if gas prices go up to $10 per gallon, what if Iran really does have nuclear weapons, what if the cost of oil and rice causes people to stop using cell phones and I lose my job. What if...the endings to this are pretty much limitless.

It is during those moments that I must log off the crazy news stories and log on to the truth...the Word of God. I must remember that God knows about absolutely everything that is going on in this crazy world and that (even though it doesn't always seem like it) He has a plan, He will provide for all of my needs and He really is all I need in my life. Take a very deep breath, remember that God is in control and cast all of my irrational fears and worries on Him.

I feel much better now. :-)

I'm Not Good At This Blogging Thing

2008-05-20T15:32:00.002-05:00

Oh dear, it has been a while since I have blogged. What has been going on? Nothing. Perhaps that is why I have not blogged. :-)

Actually, I do have something to write about. Hot Dogs and Hope. This ministry feeds approximately 250 people every Saturday in downtown Fort Worth. I went along for the ride for the first time two weeks ago. It was a great experience. I poured orange juice...a lot of orange juice. I also had the privilege of praying with a couple of homeless ladies. One was Martha. She lost her mobile home a couple of months ago, she is still mourning the death of her husband 4 or 5 years ago and her major concern right now is for her beloved cats that she had to leave behind when she was evicted from her home. The look of pain on her face was almost unbearable. I spent some time praying with her and then just gave her a big hug. I am not telling this story to try to glorify my own actions. I tell it to ask that if you think about Martha please pray for her. She is in a very desperate situation right now. Also, if any of you in the area are interested in going out with Hot Dogs and Hope let me know.

Lies Versus Truth

2008-04-30T22:11:00.003-05:00

I am going through a Bible study with a few ladies titled "Lies that Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. This was the first real week to discuss the book and I've already been blown away by the amount of lies I have accepted as truth. There is a section in the book with a list of words: tired, defeated, depressed, frustrated, lonely, angry and a few more. I was asked which of these words describe how I feel right now. I had a very difficult time verbalizing it. As stated in past posts I am a very private person (or am I really since I have this blog? Hmmm). Anyway, we will work under the assumption that I am a private person or that at least I don't like to let people into my life enough to see the dirty laundry. Someone then said that believing that I had to keep all of this to myself is a lie I am embracing. I never thought about it like that! So, I tearfully pulled out a few of the words that I so readily highlighted when by myself. It was hard, but I feel somewhat lighter if that makes sense. I then came to realize that all of those words I highlighted are lies. Example: I am not lonely for Christ is always with me. He has also provided a great family, friends and church to support me. I can't wait to see what else God reveals to me through this study. I'll keep you updated. :-)

Silent Tsunami

2008-04-23T12:22:00.003-05:00

I was informed that my blog feels abandoned so I will write about something that I have been reading about lately.

Have you heard the term Silent Tsunami this week? That is what the UN (who I don't always agree with or think is the best organization in the world, but I like their term so I'm going to use it) is labeling the global food crisis that is going on. They state that an extra 100 million people are now facing poverty throughout the world. So, what is going on? According to an article at www.bbc.com one reason is that the cost of rice has increased 68% in the last 4 months. That is a huge increase! Also, the cost of soybeans, corn and wheat is also increasing dramatically. This is stretching people to their limits in countries where the majority of their income is spent putting food on the table. Some comments I have read this week: We no longer can afford 3 meals per day...breakfast no longer exists for us...families in Bangladesh are existing on one meager meal per day...troops are being used in the Philippines to protect rice deliveries.

So, why is the price of food increasing? I've read many theories this week. Higher fuel costs, bad weather, drought, increase in land (corn crops) allocated to bio-fuels, surge in food demand. I've read so many different theories that I now believe no one really knows why this is happening. The scary thing is that based on the reports I have read the organizations that aid people during crises are not prepared for this. There just is not enough money or food to go around.

What can I do? That question has also been on my mind this week. I'm not a large nation with millions of dollars available to donate to organizations. I'm not even a wealthy individual that can give a large donation. All I am is a working, middle class, debt ridden, single woman.

What can I do? I think I can contribute in small ways. I went grocery shopping Monday night. When I got home I cleaned out my refrigerator. I am a bit embarrassed to admit that I threw away a lot of food. Things I bought that spoiled because I never ate them. So, the first thing I plan to do is to actually use the food I buy and not be so wasteful. Today i considered how often I eat out during the week. I spend on average $10 per meal. Most weeks I eat out 5 - 6 meals. $50 - $60 per week. $2600 - $3120 per year. That money would feed a lot of people. So, instead of eating out as much I plan to eat at home and take my lunch to work. All the money I save can be donated to a reputable organization to help feed the hungry. Will this save the world from starvation? No, definitely not. But, it can possibly make a difference in one or two people's lives.

I Don't Understand

2008-04-03T20:58:00.002-05:00

I just discovered that Oprah replays at 8pm every night. I watched it tonight primarily because she was interviewing a transgender man that is pregnant. Strange? Yes. Do I understand? No. But I'm going to have to ponder that one and post about it at a later time. They showed a clip of tomorrow's show which is about the horror of puppy mills. Please don't misunderstand what I am going to say. I am an animal lover and would and have gone out of my way to help animals. I also understand that we have a certain responsibility to care for animals. However, Oprah cried...the women in the audience were sobbing and covering their faces in horror. What I don't understand is why we can get so upset about the fate of dogs and ignore the fate of HUMANS around us.

Prior to watching Oprah I read an article on a situation happening in Somalia. People are fleeing Mogadishu because of the violence occurring there between Islamic insurgents and the local government. Approximately 200,000 to 250,000 people are living in a refugee camp estimated to be one of the largest internally displaced people camps anywhere in the world. Many of the people are fleeing Mogadishu after their homes have been destroyed by artillery shelling so they have absolutely nothing. They are building shelters out of sticks and scraps of fabric. There is not enough aid coming in to supply enough food. Food is currently distributed once a month. So if a family enters the camp the day after a food distribution they are forced to wait one month to receive any sort of food aid.

What I don't understand is why we see stories of puppy mills on TV and not stories about the trials and struggles of humans. If more of these stories were told people would be made aware of the situation. If they are aware of the situation they will be more likely to find a way to help or to encourage our government to help. Do we now care more about animals than people?

I Am A Clam

2008-03-31T21:13:00.002-05:00

It is true. I really am. I have a tendency to keep things to myself. It is extremely difficult for me to let people see what is really going on in my life. I think I want to put on a good front so people will: A) think my life is going great and I really am happy with things the way they are and/or B) not know about my shortcomings.

Example: My mom and I are actually very good friends. I would put her at the top of my list of best friends. I had a really disappointing morning this past Saturday. I stopped crying long enough to call my mom to tell her about my morning. She would have totally understood if I had started crying and blubbering about the awful morning, but I didn't do that. I put on a "cheery" voice, told her about the day and pointed out all the positive things about it. All I really wanted to do was cry and tell her how upset and disappointed I was. But I couldn't.

I know I don't need to let people in on absolutely every aspect of my life, but I really wish I wasn't such a clam at times.

Guilty Pleasures

2008-03-19T20:00:00.002-05:00

I have to confess...I have a guilty pleasure...watching America's Next Top Model. I don't know why I like that show so much. It is typically ridiculous with lots of cat fighting and back stabbing amongst the potential "super models". But tonight the show outdid itself. Typically there are two elements to an episode. There is a challenge where the girls compete against each other for prizes and then a photo shoot. Tonight the girls were taken to Harlem for a "Pose Off Battle". Yes, you read that right...a Pose Off Battle. They were split into two groups and then had to battle against each other for points. The points went to the girl the judges deemed the best poser. One of the silliest things I have ever viewed in my life. Will I stop watching? NO! Apparently I enjoy empty, ridiculous, silly shows. :-)

Silence is Golden

2008-03-19T08:05:00.003-05:00

I decided to remove this post. Perhaps I shouldn't have, but it felt like I was saying too much. BTW, if you read it before I took it down I would just like you to know that I am feeling a bit better now.

Surprise - I'm not really broken

2008-03-13T12:56:00.002-05:00

Okay, so I'm not as broken as I thought I was. Broke maybe, but not broken. :-) I am getting back into the swing of things and slowly readjusting. I've been very sleep deprived this week (I think I'm still on Alaska time), but I think everything else for the most part is okay now. So, no need to start sending Valium or praying that I won't OD on Tylenol PM. I am okay. :-)

Back to Life as Usual

2008-03-10T14:33:00.003-05:00

I'm back from my great adventure in Alaska and the vacation high has already started to wear off. I wish I could tell you how I'm feeling right now, but I cannot even sort through it all myself. Much less tell you about it. Let's just say that I know that it involves more than just coming home from vacation. I'm really confused about some things and I feel like I'm a little bit broken. Broken Amy.

Alaska - Days 5 & 6

2008-03-07T11:13:00.002-06:00

What happened to days 5 and 6 you ask? Just read day 4 again and you will be caught up. Since Davita has to work this week I have not been doing a lot during the day other than catching up on TV and reading. It has been extremely relaxing and enjoyable though. Davita is only working a few hours today so we will be heading south soon to stay at a bed and breakfast in Moose Pass and visit Seward.

I would just like to say that God really has a sense of humor. I came to Alaska expecting lots of winter weather. As previously reported, there is still a lot of the white stuff on the ground; however, it has failed to snow ANY since I've been here. Oh wait, it has snowed...just in Dallas! I think the lack of snow here though is probably a blessing. We have not had any travel problems since the roads are mostly clear. If it did snow that would make seeing the state a lot more difficult. Also, I haven't frozen as I feared I would. I can even go out in the mid 30 degree temps without my coat now. It's crazy how quickly one can adjust to the colder temperatures. Even though I hoped to see a massive snow storm this has worked out quite nicely.

Alaska - Day Four

2008-03-04T23:39:00.003-06:00

Day Four = Relaxation!

Poor Davita had to work today. That left me with no choice but to further develop my inner couch potato. I accomplished this by sleeping until 8am, then watching TV, surfing the web and reading on the couch (all in my PJs) until 4pm. I did decide to shower and get dressed prior to Davita making it home from work. I didn't want her to be jealous of the fact that I was able to sit around in my PJs all day. ;-) We went out for dinner to a Mexican restaurant called Chepo's. It was good. Which according to Davita is a bit of a miracle since most Mexican food here is really, really bad.

I told Davita tonight that I wanted to write a post explaining why I would move to Talkeetna, population 700, but thought that I would not be able to properly express why I have that desire. She put that desire into words. Talkeetna = stillness/quietness/peacefulness. Does everyone know the song "Be Still and Know that I Am God"? One can achieve this "stillness" in Talkeetna. There is something very appealing about that.

Alaska - Day Three = Pain

2008-03-03T21:55:00.002-06:00

My body hurts. Walking on ice and snow must use muscles that I was not aware I had. Even my ab muscles are a bit sore. Now that I have gotten that whining out of the way let me tell you about my day.

Davita had to go to work today so I spent the morning lounging around the house watching TV and uploading pictures. This afternoon we hiked up to Thunderbird Falls. It is a pretty little waterfall that is mostly frozen this time of the year. It was a bit of a challenging hike up to the falls. And it didn't help that things are melting a bit and there is a lot of ice showing now. We had to wear shoe spikes just to be able to hike there. The hike was scary at points because we were walking on mostly ice with a sheer cliff drop off on one side of us. One wrong step and we would have gotten a very close look at the creek that Thunderbird Falls filters in to. :-)

We then drove to Anchorage to visit Wild Berry Farms. They make chocolate and candy and have lots of souvenirs. They also have the largest chocolate fountain (20 feet tall). To our dismay it wasn't on. How disappointing is that?!! The trip was not wasted because they had lots of cool things to purchase as souvenirs.

After dinner at Chili's we are now back at Davita's house. Another fun day...except I'm really sore now! :-)

2008-03-03T11:15:00.002-06:00

One of the mountain ranges outside of Anchorage

The ocean. Completely frozen. So bizarre.

The official start of the Iditarod in Willow, AK

Me at the Iditarod
Lance Mackey. He is an Iditarod star. He won last year.

Alaska - Day Two

2008-03-02T23:50:00.002-06:00

Today was the restart of the Iditarod in Willow, AK. HUGE deal. There were thousands of people there. And it was only after we left that we realized we were all standing on a frozen lake. I'm glad it was frozen solid! It was really exciting to watch the mushers take off. At first I wondered what the motivation is for wanting to run the Iditarod. But, by the end of the day I found myself wishing I was going. I think it has something to do with adventure and achievement of something great and unusual.

After watching several of the mushers take off (they are released in 2 minute intervals so it took several hours for all of them to leave the starting line) we headed out to Talkeetna. It is a very small town that the old TV show Northern Exposure was based on. I fell in love. Absolutely in love with this town. If I move it will be to Talkeetna. There is not much there, but it is so peaceful and quaint and the locals were so friendly.

We then headed back to Anchorage (about a 2.5 hour drive from Talkeetna). We saw a moose! I was able to get some pictures, but she was still kind of far away from me and I wasn't able to convince her that she wanted to come closer.

All in all, another great day in Alaska. I completely understand why people live here now.

Alaska - Day One

2008-03-01T21:08:00.002-06:00

I survived. And had fun. Two great things. This morning we went to watch the ceremonial start of the Iditarod. I just found out that with the wind chill it was right around zero degrees. It was cold, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. How does one combat the cold? It appears that most people wear some type of dead animal on their heads. Seriously. I've never seen more fur in my life. PETA would have had a field day. And I'm sure they would not have approved of the dog sledding either. Other things we saw...a mall, ice sculptures, snow sculptures and the Uluu factory (google Uluu if you don't know what that is). After lunch at a burger joint that also served Chinese, Mexican and seafood we drove to Eklutna Lake, which is frozen right now. We hiked up to the lake and ventured out on it. So, technically today I walked on water. :-) We also fell down...a couple of times. There is a lot of ice under the snow and if you slip you are going all the way down. Now I'm really exhausted. We are about to have dinner and will probably hit the sack early tonight. I'll try to upload some pictures of today's activities a bit later.

One more day...

2008-02-27T20:36:00.005-06:00

Until I leave for Alaska. Below are some of the things I hope to see:

Glaciers

The Start of the Iditarod
The Northern Lights
A Moose in the Middle of Town
Downtown Anchorage

Alaska Bound!

2008-02-25T19:01:00.002-06:00

It is finally here. I leave for Alaska at 10:40 am this Friday! I'm incredibly excited. A few of the things we plan to do is see the ceremonial start of the Iditarod (dog sledding race), hike, snowshoe, hike, go to the coast to see the town of Seward, hike, see the town that the old TV show Northern Exposure was based on...did I mention hiking? It is going to be stunningly beautiful. I just know it!

I Am Cold!

2008-01-25T20:52:00.000-06:00

I have been freezing all day! I just can't seem to warm up. I think it stayed in the 30s today which is really cold for us. Never fear...it is supposed to be in the 70s by Monday.

I don't know if I will survive my trip to Alaska in March. I may literally freeze to death. So far I have purchased a new coat that is supposed to keep me warm in temperatures as low as -15 degrees. We'll see about that. I also purchased a few new long sleeve t-shirts for layering and I'm in the market for some long underwear and a new pair of boots. However cold it may be I'm really looking forward to this trip. I can't wait to see Davita again. And, I need to get out of town. Way out of town. Maybe that will help clear my head and give me some clarity on my life.

So today I went to work. We were supposed to get freezing rain last night, which would have meant that I stayed home to work. But, it didn't happen so I was quite disappointed in the fact that I actually had to go to work. Tonight I went to Casey's basketball game. They blew the other team out of the water, but she didn't get to play very much. There's always next time I guess.

What does the weekend hold? Tomorrow I am going town house shopping. I'm looking forward to that a lot. Then Sunday is a surprise birthday party. So, despite the few disappointments I had this evening during a phone call I am looking forward to the weekend.

Wanted: Adventure

2008-01-09T20:25:00.000-06:00

Is it crazy to want adventure in your life? I don't think it is. I think God is very adventurous and desires the same thing for me. So, what exactly do I want? I want to step out onto a new limb every day...experience something new all the time. I want to travel. I want to meet exciting people. I want to love and be loved (what greater adventure is there than that?!!). I want to have children. I want to climb things. I want to take risks. I want to do things that make people say, "Why would anyone want to do that?".

I started with Israel. Very good start in my opinion. When I began telling people about the trip I always got the same response. WHY?! It was a great trip and really inspired me to see the rest of this amazingly diverse world I live in.

Anywho, enough musing for the day. Let's get to the boring stuff: What happened today. Not much at all. Work, then home, then Target, now blogging to avoid my reading for my class on Sunday. This wasn't a very adventurous day. :-)